Jurassic Park 3D (2013)

****

An excerpt of a review recently posted on Schaeffer's Ghost:

Man, I forgot how much fun this movie is. 

I don’t think I ever actually saw it in theatres. Twenty years ago (yes, it really has been 20 years), I was … ok, not that young, but still young enough that I think my folks may have had misgivings about letting me see a dude get ate up by a T. Rex on the big screen. Sure, I saw re-runs on cable, but there’s no doubt that Jurassic Park is one of those precious few films that really deserve to be seen on a 50+ foot screen. I am supremely grateful to Universal Pictures for giving the chance to rectify this tragically missed opportunity. 

If you haven’t yet seen Jurassic Park on the big screen, go see it. Now. 

If you have seen Jurassic Park on the big screen, go see it now anyway. It’s been 20 years, and you probably forgot how awesome it is. You may think you remember, but you don’t. Besides, this time it’s in 3D, and if you thought the dinosaurs were scary before … well, you’re in for a treat. I almost kicked the guy in front of me, is what I’m saying. Thank goodness I didn’t have popcorn in my lap, or I would have been wearing it. 

Full review available here.

Jack the Giant Slayer (2013)

***

An excerpt of a review recently posted on Schaeffer's Ghost:

I have not seen the TV spots and trailers for Jack the Giant Slayer, but I’m told that they were … not good. Allow me to assure you that the movie is nowhere near as bad as the marketing would apparently suggest. In fact, it’s actually quite good. And I’m not the only one who thinks so. Sure, it’s chock full of laughably CGI’d giants and a soundtrack that desperately wants to be mistaken for The Lord of the Rings, but it’s fun, darn it! There are some good one-liners along the way, the action sequences are fairly creative, and the casting is above-average for this sort of flick. Nicholas Hoult has grown up quite a bit since I last saw him in About a Boy (2002), and his wide-eyed, dreamy vibe is a good fit for the head-in-the-clouds Jack (who spends most of the film clad in what looks suspiciously like a hoodie, tee shirt, and jeans). Eleanor Tomlinson is likewise a good fit for Princess Isabelle—appropriately spunky, lovely enough to warrant Jack’s immediate infatuation, and intelligent enough to know an unlikely hero when she sees one. Ian McShane sheds his bad-guy persona in favor of an old-fashioned but genuinely affectionate father (though I admit it’s rather jarring to hear him deliver any line that’s not punctuated by pungent profanity). Bill Nighy does excellent voice work as Fallon, the leader of the giants (though I wish the CGI team had made more use of his face, and not just his voice). Stanley Tucci is positively delicious as the eeeevil Lord Roderick—though he should really shave the beard so as to maximize his mustache-twirling potential. But for my money, the real star of the picture is Ewan McGregor as the sprightly and stalwart captain of the guard, Elmont. He exudes that quintessentially British brand of courage, all bright cheerfulness and unshakable loyalty and unflappable sangfroid. I can’t remember Ewan McGregor ever being so likable. He was a delight to watch—and I’m not usually a big Ewan McGregor fan.

Full review available here.

A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)

***

An excerpt of a review recently posted on Schaeffer's Ghost:

To children, A Good Day to Die Hard offers the simple reminder that parents are fallible. They screw up. They miss out on stuff you wish they’d been around for, and they make all sorts of mistakes that drive you bonkers and, in some cases, cause you serious emotional pain. But at the end of the day, even loving parents get it wrong sometimes. Most goofs were probably more the result of boneheaded thinking and normal human error than of any actual malice or a desire to ruin your life. That doesn’t mean that what they did (or didn’t do) was ok. But at some point, you have to let go, accept them for who they are, and recognize their overtures of affection for what they are—even if said overtures involve offering to help you kill some Russian bad guys. [...] 

To parents, Good Day to Die Hard offers a modern day action retelling of Harry Chapin’s classic hit ‘Cat’s in the Cradle.’ If you prioritize outside activities over family, you pay a very real relational cost. Granted, we’d all be terribly disappointed if John McClane was too busy being a good dad to save Nakatomi Plaza from terrorists thieves, or save Dulles from whoever that psycho general guy was, or save New York from Jeremy Irons or save Lucy McClane from a less-than-terrifying Timothy Olyphant. Saving the day makes for great movies. It may not make for great families.

Full review available here.

Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

***

An excerpt of a review recently posted on Schaeffer's Ghost:

But that’s not how the world really works. I am not the hero. That role has already been filled. The whole universe and everyone in it from the dawn of time to the end of ages are merely bit players in a story about Someone Else. My life matters because of what it says about Him. He’s the main character. He did the saving. My contribution was, well, getting myself into a big, rotten, stinking mess. His contribution was reaching down into the mire to save my sorry soul. Every teensy bit of progress I’ve experienced in my life is the result of His work. He fights sin in my life; my efforts are the palest imitation of His effectual acts. I’m not the hero. I’m not an ‘actor’. Heck, I’m not even a supporting actor—best case scenario, I’m an uncredited extra. If I were to be nominated for an Oscar for my performance, it would be for something like ‘Woman at restaurant’ or ‘Girl carrying books.’ I’m so far from being the center of the story that it’s laughable.

Full review available here.

Premium Rush (2012)

***

Wilee loves his job as a bike messenger. He rides his bike--fixed gear, no brakes--through the streets of New York City with absolute fearlessness. And in a city full of taxicabs, buses, and angry drivers, that's no mean feat--especially since bike messengers are on the top of everyone's hate list. A bike messenger has to fight just to stay alive, let a lone to get his package to the destination on time. It's a hard job--and it just got harder. Wilee's latest delivery is more than it seems, and there's a dirty cop who's determined to get his hands on it. Will Wilee be able to deliver the envelope, or will the dirty cop turn our hero into roadkill?

Red (2010)

****

Retired CIA agent Frank Moses is having a hard time adjusting to his humdrum, post-black-ops life. The only bright spot in his life is Sarah, the customer service rep who handles his pension, and with whom he has frequent phone conversations. When a hit squad attacks his house in the middle of the night, Frank is determined to find out who sent them, and why. The task is a bit too big for him, but fortunately he has an assortment of old associates who are only too happy to be recruited to assist him in his mission--as well as Sarah herself, who is unexpectedly swept up in the drama on account of Frank's known attachment to her. Meanwhile, CIA Agent William Cooper is tasked with finding and eliminating Frank, who has been tagged as 'Retired Extremely Dangerous.' As Frank and company inch ever closer to the source of their trouble, Cooper begins to question his mission ...

This movie had no business being anything less than awesome--with Bruce back in action  in the kind of role he does best, supported by John Malkovich as paranoid conspiracy theorist Martin Boggs, Martin Freeman as ailing ex-agent Joe, and the inimitable Helen Mirren as expert assassin Victoria ... to say nothing of Brian Cox as Ivan, the Russian ex-agent who pines nostalgically for the Cold War days. With a cast like that, the movie ought to have been a lock.

Skyfall (2012)

****

An excerpt of a review recently posted on Schaeffer's Ghost:

There are a number of recurring themes throughout the film, most notably the tension between young and old, past and future. Bond and M are seen as relics of a bygone age (and Bond himself is feeling his years in a way we haven’t really seen before). The British government has begun to question not only M’s leadership, but even the necessity of MI6 itself. Even within MI6 this tension is present—the elderly Q has been replaced by a younger model (Ben Whishaw, seen recently in Cloud Atlas) who prefers computers to silly gadgets, and sees agents as necessary only when a trigger must be pulled. But Silva is likewise a wiz with computers, and Bond and M eventually realize that in order to defeat him, they need to take the battle to their own outdated turf. 

The resulting film has, of necessity, a delightful throwback feel. We get precious little in the way of new gadgets (I only counted two, one of which is clearly mocked as anything but innovative), but we are reunited with an old friend of the vehicular variety, which more than makes up for Q’s unimpressive offerings. Plus we get to see Bond and company improvise their own arsenal of sorts, with impressive results. Michael Westen would be proud (as would MacGyver). Also, for those concerned about such things, I can confirm that Bond is still a martini man (shaken, not stirred), that he has not lost his flair for self-introduction, that he still knows how to use a Walther PPK, and that there’s still nothing like an Aston Martin DB5.

Full review available here.

Cloud Atlas (2012)

****

An excerpt of a review recently posted on Schaeffer's Ghost:

For the Wachowkis, the unifying theme of the stories is a sense of community and human connectedness. I was struck, however, by the portrayal of injustice as a universal experience. In each story, an injustice is being committed, and in each story, the characters involved must decide how to respond to that injustice. Some characters choose selfishness; others engage with circumstances in an attempt to bring about justice. So the fabricant/clone, when confronted with the horrible fate inflicted en masse on others like herself, chooses to take a stand in defense of those whom society as deemed ‘less than human’ and thus undeserving of basic human rights, or even life itself. This decision proves costly, yet the film clearly embraces the sacrifice of self for the pursuit of justice as honorable and right. This idea of self-sacrifice for the sake of justice recurs across several story lines—a young lawyer helps an escaped slave; a freedom fighter saves a helpless girl; a man risks his life to help the daughter of a friend; a woman risks her life for truth and to save thousands, perhaps millions; and a man undertakes a dangerous journey in exchange for a cure for a sick girl. In two of the story lines, this theme is rather muddled, as the victim and the savior are the same person, and, in one story, the perceived solution to the injustice is apparently self-salvation through suicide. 

Regardless of whether we agree with the means used to combat injustice—or even with the filmmakers’ characterization of certain events and actions as unjust—this experience of injustice makes an excellent theme, for it is common to all. If there is any universal constant in a fallen world, it is injustice.

Full review available here.

The Expendables 2 (2012)

***

[NOTE: For purposes of this review, all characters will be referred to by the actor's name. Because come on. Who are we kidding?]

Stallone, Statham, and company are back for another round of bloody, high-octane adventures. This time, Bruce Willis is calling in a favor and sending the team off to Albania to retrieve the super-secret contents of a safe in a downed plane. Sounds easy, right? Well, it would be ... if JCVD and his team of baddies weren't poised to snatch the goods from Our Intrepid Heroes. And, to make sure we get the 'villain' message loud and clear, he kicks a puppy, punches a kitten, and mercilessly--and unnecessarily--murders the New Guy, thereby ensuring that the Expendables must Make Him Pay. It turns out that the super-secret safe contained the location of massive Cold War stores of plutonium. Which means JCVD and his Delorean can now terrorize both the past AND future to his heart's content. Just kidding--but he can sell serious nuclear power to some shady characters. Oh, and terrorize and enslave a bunch of poor Albanian villagers (of course). Unless Stallone and his posse (and the obligatory Hot Chick) can save the day, that is. Can they?

Looper (2012)

***

An excerpt of a review recently posted on Schaeffer's Ghost [WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS]:

At the heart of this highly enjoyable film is the idea that Love Conquers All. Future Joe waxes eloquent about his wonderful-but-now-dead (then-dead?) wife and how by her love she saved him from his awful life of drugs and crime. Similarly, Sarah is determined to love Sid unconditionally, and is convinced that her love will shape him and will enable him to control his temper and use his considerable powers for good. In this world, love is the greatest agent of change. How sweet. 

But difficulties arise. (Don’t they always?) Future Joe’s wife is murdered, and he is determined to avenge/save her, no matter the cost. He is perfectly willing to gun down all the little John Connors, even though he knows only one of them will become the man responsible for his wife’s death.  And we learn that watching Sarah’s death will be the major factor contributing to Sid’s ‘bad dude’ future. This love, the love that was supposed to save both Sid and Future Joe, turns out to have the power to corrupt and destroy.

Full review available here.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

****

An excerpt of a review recently posted on Schaeffer's Ghost:

To Sarah Connor, an ideal father is defined by what he does. Love is action. And as Christians, we might agree; after all, ‘greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.’ (John 15:13) And [spoiler] that is precisely what the Terminator does—he endures a wince-inducing beating in order to protect John, and, when push comes to shove, he sacrifices himself in order to save mankind from the horrors they would otherwise endure on Judgment Day.  In many ways, this is a striking picture of the gospel—of God’s love for His people and His willingness to take on Himself the penalty for their sins in order to reconcile them to Himself and save them from the wrath to come. 

But there’s something missing, isn’t there? After all, the Terminator, as honorable as his actions may be, is only doing what he has been programmed to do. We want to believe he loves John Connor, but the truth is, he’s all action and no heart.

Full review available here.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)

***

Hellboy (a.k.a. 'Red') and the B.P.R.D. are back for another installment--this time facing off against the elf prince Nuada, who is hell-bent (heh) on reviving the long-dormant 'Golden Army', a horde of indestructible mechanical soldiers built by goblin blacksmiths long ago. The Golden Army is more than capable of wiping out the human race, but is held in check by the longstanding truce between men (who agreed to keep to the cities) and elves (who retained control of the forest). But times have changed, and the humans aren't living up to their side of the bargain, and Prince Nuada has had enough. Hellboy--with an assist from his pyrokinetic girlfriend Liz, the amphibious humanoid Abe Sapiens, ectoplasmic medium Johann Krauss, and Nuada's twin sister Nuala--must keep Nuada from collecting the three pieces of the ancient crown that, once united, will reactivate the Golden Army. Meanwhile, Liz has to make some tough decisions about her future . . . and Red's.

Total Recall (2012)

***

An excerpt of a review posted on Schaeffer's Ghost:

Let’s start with the basics: This is a fun movie.  Yes, Colin Farrell spends the bulk of the movie blundering about with a bewildered look on his face.  Fortunately, Farrell does bewildered extremely well, and his wide-eyed innocence and natural charisma endear him to the audience from the get-go.  Kate Beckinsdale has apparently not aged a day since Underworld, and it turns out she makes a far better villainness than a rom-com queen.  The screening audience reacted audibly every time she burst into a scene, hot on the trail of our leading man and ready to beat him to a bloody pulp.  Which she did quite believably on more than one occasion (take notes, Angelina Jolie in Salt).  Jessica Biel was sweet enough, but was ultimately a rather uninspired choice as the mysterious ‘dream woman’.  Bryan Cranston appears to have a gift for villainy, and Bill Nighy is utterly wasted on an unfortunate bit of speechifying.

 Full review available here.

The Gospel According to Die Hard

*****

An excerpt from a review posted on Schaeffer's Ghost:

All through the Old and New Testaments we see the recurring themes of sin, sacrifice, grace, and the love that grace produces, described in terms of marriage, infidelity, separation, and unmerited rescue.

But this particular version of the story doesn’t come from the Bible.  It doesn’t even come from the romance shelf of the Christian Fiction section in your church library.  The source is perhaps a surprising one:  It’s the plot of Die Hard.

That’s right.  Die Hard.  Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman, Bonnie Bedelia, and a host of Hey! It’s That Guy-types from the 1980s.  Hardly the place you’d expect to find the gospel.  There’s swearing, for Pete’s sake.  And violence.  But then, the gospel is a bloody business, isn’t it?  Sin isn’t pretty—it’s messy and filthy and disgusting and costly.  And the cross isn’t clinical or antiseptic.  The rescue of the church from the hostile forces of sin was not without consequences.  Serious, bloody consequences.

Full review available here.

Clash of the Titans (1981)

****

Perseus, half-mortal son of Zeus, is unexpectedly plopped down in Joppa, where Calibos, the son of Thetis, goddess of the sea, has recently been transformed from handsome man to hideous monster.  This transformation puts a bit of a kibosh on Calibos' betrothal to the lovely princess Andromeda, who in turn develops the hots for the dashing young Perseus.  When Andromeda's mother unwisely brags that the young princess is prettier than Thetis herself, the goddess goes all Wicked Queen on Andromeda's Snow White behind, and promises to send the monstrous Kraken to destroy the village unless Andromeda is sacrificed to it.  Perseus, deeply smitten with Andromeda himself, is having none of that, and, with the assistance of an elderly poet and a mechanical owl, he sets off to consult the Stygian witches for advice on how to defeat the Kraken.  The ensuing adventures bring him face-to-face (in a manner of speaking) with the legendary Medusa and ultimately the Kraken itself.  With Calibos sabotaging his every effort, and with his own nasty habit of losing the magical gifts bestowed on him by Zeus, will Perseus be able to save Andromeda before it's too late? 

This film was the last major production from fantasy/horror legend Ray Harryhausen, and he certainly went out with a bang.  The movie is chock full of good old fashioned stop-motion effects, claymation, and all sorts of classic horror cinema techniques.  The cast is a rather motley collection of respected actors (Laurence Olivier as Zeus; a young(er) Maggie Smith as Thetis; Burgess Meredith as the poet) and . . . others, including former Bond girl Ursula Andress as Aphrodite and relative unknown Harry Hamlin as Perseus. Hamlin isn't exactly a brilliant actor, but he's good at standing there draped in a shortish toga and looking confused until it's time for him to brandish his various magical weapons--when he hasn't lost them, that is.  

There's also plenty of cheesy wonderfulness, mostly provided by the stop-motion effects and the presence of a rather random and improbably named mechanical owl called Bubo (whose vocalizations sound suspiciously like R2D2, though Harryhausen swears that the idea of Bubo predates the lovable droid).  Hamlin battles all sorts of mythological critters, from giant scorpions to a two-headed dog (I guess Cerberus was busy) to Medusa herself, who is surprisingly scary for a stop-motion monster.  Pegasus makes a fairly realistic appearance, and the Kraken is, well, Godzilla Goes to Greece. 

All in all, it's a ton of fun and I can see why it's a classic.  If you enjoy old-school B movies and haven't seen this one . . . well, first you need to repent (as I did), because you should be ashamed of yourself, and then you should go out and rent (or borrow) this movie posthaste. 

Wrath of the Titans (2012)

***

Demigod Perseus wants nothing more than to raise his young son in the idyllic quiet of his simple fishing village--just as he promised his late wife Io.  An unexpected visit from his father Zeus reveals that the increased lack of belief among mortals has severely weakened the gods, and that the Titan Kronos (father of the gods) is on the verge of breaking out of Tartarus, the prison of the underworld where he's been trapped since before the dawn of mankind.  Perseus is at first reluctant to get involved, but when his village is attacked by a chimera, he decides to help Zeus restrain Kronos.  In the meantime, however, Zeus himself has been captured by his brother Hades (who seeks revenge for being exiled to the underworld by Zeus) and his son Ares (who resents Zeus for his preferential treatment of Perseus); they plan to hand Zeus over to Kronos so that Kronos can use what remains of Zeus' power to fuel his escape (in return for which assistance, Hades and Ares hope to be granted continued immortality when Kronos takes over).  Perseus--with an assist from former god (and divine weapon-smith) Hephaestus, fellow demi-god and mischief maker Agenor (son of Poseidon), and Andromeda, queen of Greece--must now journey to the underworld to save Zeus before Kronos drains Zeus of the last of his power, breaks free, and destroys all of humankind.  Mythological shenanigans ensue.

As you can see, there's kind of a lot going on here.  It's a very busy film.  And, I confess, it may have seemed more than usually busy to me on account of I watched it in IMAX 3-D, sitting in the front row.  I freely admit that my viewing situation may have affected my ability to follow the plot, and may have made things seem more chaotic than they would otherwise be if viewed in a less overwhelming format. 

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

***

Scrawny Steve Rogers wants nothing more than to serve his country by fighting in World War II.  Unfortunately, his slight stature and numerous health problems have led to his rejection by the Army not once but four times.  His determination catches the eye of Dr. Abraham Erskine, a German doctor working with the United States military.  Rogers is accepted into an experimental 'super-soldier' training, where his compassion and courage set him apart from other, stronger candidates who tend toward bullying.  Rogers is selected to undergo a super secret procedure, which transforms him from frail bully-bait into . . . Captain America, super-soldier.  Initially, Captain America/Rogers is used as a PR stunt, performing with chorus girls in an effort to boost war bond sales.  However, a trip to the front lines reminds him of his desire to serve his country, and when he finds out that his best friend has disappeared behind enemy lines, nothing will stop him from leaping into the fray.  However, his best friend is not being held by run-of-the-mill Germans, but by the psychotic Johann Schmidt, a Nazi officer obsessed with harnessing 'the power of the gods' to create impossibly powerful new weapons.  Will Captain America/Rogers be able to rescue his friend (and the other soldiers) from Schmidt's clutches?  What nefarious plot is Schmidt hatching, and can he be stopped?  And will the lovely-but-stern Agent Peggy Carter ever give our hero the kiss he's longing for?

This was, in all honesty, one of the better superhero movies.  Not the best, mind you, but better.

The 6th Day (2000)

***

It's 2015, and cloning has become commonplace.  Pets, organs, plants--pretty much every biological entity can now be cloned.  Except, of course, for human beings.  Human cloning is highly illegal, thanks to a failed experiment a few years back and the ensuing '6th day' laws forbidding human cloning (the 6th day being, of course, the day that God created man).  Not that these laws keep it from happening--as pilot Adam Gibson (the Governator) (get it? Adam? 6th day? get it?) discovers when he arrives home to find himself already inside with his wife and kids.  He's been cloned, and now the people who cloned him are trying to kill him.  Can Adam figure out who did this to him before it's too late?  (Answer: Yes.)

This is a later Arnold pic, with lots of explosions and action (though perhaps not as much carnage as in younger days--see, e.g. Commando).  And with twice as many Arnolds, you know it's going to be fun. The clones here are not just clones--they are imprinted with all the memories of the original.  They don't even know that they are clones.  So really, the movie offers a form of resurrection; you can be born again as a clone.  Unless, of course, you never died in the first place . . .

The Rundown (2003)

***

Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson stars as 'retrieval expert' Beck, an imposing man and capable fighter who is often sent to, well, retrieve things.  But when he is ordered to retrieve his boss's treasure hunting son (Seann William Scott) from the wilds of the Amazon, things get a little crazy . . . especially if the cruel and greedy owner of the nearby gold mine (Christopher Walken) and the obligatory hot bartender (Rosario Dawson) have anything to say about it.

I should love this movie.  It's cheesy action adventure from start to finish.  The Rock takes on forces that would impress Commando's John Matrix (speaking of which, while I love a good cameo--see, e.g., The Expendables and the otherwise disappointing Ocean's Twelve--this one felt like a forced non-sequitur).  And there are a lot of things I liked about it.  I liked the fight scenes.  I liked The Rock--with quiet gravitas, a good-hearted reluctance to use violence, and the comic timing required to pull it all together, he's shaping up to be quite a capable action star.  I liked Christopher Walken's over-the-top-and-yet-somehow-also-mailed-in performance.  I liked the bizarre Scottish pilot, especially when he was preaching damnation in a rather surreal prelude to the climactic final battle. 

So why didn't I love this movie?  Three words:  Seann William Scott.

Hanna (2011)

***

This was my first encounter with current it-actress Saoirse Ronan, and I have to say, I was impressed.  She was quite possibly the best thing about this film.  

The plot here is Bourne Redux.  Hanna, a 16 year old girl, has no functional understanding of the modern world (having been raised in a cottage in the forest) and is being hunted by the CIA for reasons she doesn't really understand. (Ronan's fair complexion is played up to highlight the otherworldliness of her character.) The role of the sympathetic and helpful civilian is fulfilled here by fellow teenager Jessica, who is on vacation with her slightly kooky yet refreshingly normal family, who provide a much-needed glimmer of humor in an otherwise dark film.